Charlie Sheen: Lent Observer?
I think we’re all longing for the days when Charlie Sheen was just allegedly having naked rampages in luxury hotel suites. We totally defended him back then because he was OF COURSE prepping for his new role as Noah in an upcoming biblical film.
Sadly, he was let go from the Noah biopic due to “creative differences” and “total nutcase tendencies.”
But despite his recent rambling and raging, it looked like Chuck had finally turned a corner. He held a press conference this morning to announce his observation of Lent. Here’s the scoop!
LOS ANGELES - Scandal-ridden actor Charlie Sheen announced this morning that he will be observing the Christian tradition of Lent, which is a period of sacrifice and prayer leading up to Easter.
From a stage, which consisted of a wooden plank propped on two folding chairs, poolside at the Playboy Mansion, Sheen announced that in light of recent events, he felt compelled to “make a change” in his life. The audience, who was informed of the press conference late last night via a direct message on Twitter, included press reporters, local megachurch pastors, members of the USC Song Girls cheerleading squad, and plainsclothes mimes.
“I’ll be the first to admit that my behavior over the last few weeks is not who I really am,” Sheen said. “So for Lent, I want to leave this all behind.”
“For the next 40 days, I’m giving up my last shred of decency and restraint,” he stated.
Sheen then threw off the purple velvet priest’s robe that he was wearing to reveal acid-washed cutoff jean shorts and a coconut bra. He pulled eggs from his ‘jorts’ pockets and threw them into the audience, exclaiming “Winning!” with each attendee he successfully egged.
He then strapped on a jetpack and rocketed away while dousing the audience with a Super Soaker-brand water gun filled with tiger blood.
If that’s how Charlie observes Lent, we can’t wait for his Easter egg hunt!
